No time to stop and stare

Saturday, April 12, 2008

You

Yes.

I traveled over six hours. To see you.

You.

I landed at your city. To catch a glimpse of you, I had to wait over six hours. You made me wait. I grew impatient. I got so mad. I wanted to yell.

Yell.

You would say: "I never asked you to come. I told you I would be busy. You know this visit is inappropriate. To this visit, nothing would I owe."

Owe.

Hmm... I know. I saw an opportunity. I grabbed it. I so badly wanted to see you. "See me? hmm... Well, I told you, I'll be busy. You want to do justice to this trip... Go ahead and roam around the city. It's beautiful. There's a tourist spot nearby as well. Go and see."

See.

I waited patiently another day. After it got over, I said "Well, I kind of needed a day to understand you; what you were going through. I have pained you a lot... but not with me knowing it. I'll go away." I took my car. Went to that tourist place. The place was beautiful. The scenery breathtaking. But in my memory there was no place for all those amazing scenery to etch.

Etch.

Coz it was all taken up by someone else. Huh. I wanted to say "I am sorry. Now I know you have been nicer to me even in your situation. I am sorry for putting you in this position. You are still my favorite person. You will always be." We met again. "Yes, I shall be your favorite person." How condescending! Haha. Was I happy or what. I said "Yes! ;) Yay!".

Yay.

I understand everything much better now. I suddenly get the feeling that I am a newer person. I now know how to let go of opportunities that knock at my door. It is difficult. Far too difficult, especially for me. I don't care about the money. For me, it's more about the zen, than the yen.

Yen.

But keeping off, and going away turned out to be too difficult for me at the final moments. I thought we had to meet once again. I couldn't resist. So I went back. To 24th Ave. We met again. The atmospheric was at best lukewarm. There was this knowing smile... more a kind of departing smile, a bye-bye-for-good smile. I didn't like it. But I think we know our limitations. I sometimes think about the imagination land. I think it is happening as I write this down... somewhere, maybe in some parallel universe, both of us are happy. Anyways I headed back to my parking spot. I was circling around the small roads there, whiling away my time, before my departure. I suddenly started noticing the name of the roads: Underhill, Uxbridge, Udell, Ulysses, Unwin... yeah, they all started with a U. Funny place, I thought. Well. I did come for u. I did see u... hey, hey!

Hey!

... things are going to become better. Yes, they are.

Are.